.Thursday, May 28, 2009 ' 10:24 AM Y
Sumtym i wonder, am i supposed to sacrifice moi personal happiness all e tym? Jus to make those ard moi happy? Will it eventually becum exhausting? Feeling a sense of fatigue, both mentally and physically. Sumtym i wan to just lay on e bed and shut off frm e world. Perhaps by doing tis, then i'd be slightly happier?Moi life could probably not sux anymore right now. For some reason, i'm really looking forward to it. Life is busy. Life is a constant race.
it's been a long tym since i felt tis way and tis morn was horrible wen i actually cried.thoughts run thru moi mind and flash back of some incidents. it got moi realli affected and it seems tat everything is in a repeat mode which i'm so afraid of. Sumtym it realli is killin e inside of moi, e guilt which doesnt seems to go away.
anyway, happy birthday bestie! thanks for acc moi for dinner by walkin frm toh guan all e way to jurong town council. haha! enjoy ya special day yo and stop telling ppl i treat yew to mac for b'dae. wat an ass uh! for gawd sake, stop laughin at moi scream moi lungs out jus nw. Erase it off frm ya mind. greatly appreciate.
' sumwhere over the rainbow♥
.Friday, May 22, 2009 ' 9:55 AM Y
Once in a while, i did realize hw deeply things are etched inside moi mind, and it is impossible to get out of it. I try hard nt to rmb those painful ones even if it were those tat were once happy. I nvr seem to able to stop tinkin abt it becos small things do link to tat sweet memory tat once took place.It's tym lyk these tat memories bring abt e pain inside moi, so unbearable tat i wish for one sec i could relive those memories, and forget everything ard moi. Memories tell stories of wat happened before, be it gd or bad. I hav memories of yew, moi and us deep inside moi heart tat i knw no matter how hard i try to erase, it'll nvr be completely gone. When we were carving those memories, little did i knw, i'll hav to look back and reminiscence it alone.
There's only so much i can tell someone, e rest and main feelings are hide deep down inside, nobody knw.Thanks for guiding moi all along! Tonite i realise it's gona totally, really glad. =D
' sumwhere over the rainbow♥
.Thursday, May 14, 2009 ' 9:17 AM Y
I've been at a continuous state of being awake even wen I'm asleep, I find so hard to swap things ard moi, or to keep moi constant moving.I hate how heavy moi eyes are growing and my lids constantly feels lyk closing themselves on e world.
Moi whole week has been rather good and hectic. Nothing beats hanging out together with ur old fren again, lyk in e past. I wasn't doing any justice to moi past at all, right now all I want is everything to work out rite, to lead a simple yet meaningful life, to fulfil moi travel plans and hopefully everything will work out too. I don't knw where I'll be, I'll probably jus need moi family to always stay by moi side, bestie regardless their gender to always understand moi. They'll be e oxygen to e air I breathe.
Jus as I thought I was earning enuff money for tis mth again, I'm back to shopping online! Where is moi curbing of temptation! Thought I was doing a good job resisting, moi bank looked so nice initially today! RAWR!
Well, i'm tinkin of a few ppl. And by tinkin, it doesn't mean i'm lyk missing some dudes or whoever elses yew guess. But jus random ppl popping into moi mind. Okay, and yes, tis is obviously a boring and redundant post.
Before i end, i'm e joke of e day! to actually call out the wrong name. HORRIBLE!
' sumwhere over the rainbow♥
.Sunday, May 10, 2009 ' 4:24 AM Y
Finally i hab a gd 12h straight of slp and a stay home day. one word SHIOK! during school days i would say i look and feel like a walking zombie. Just tis morn someone commited sucide jus directly opp moi home, first tym ever happening in moi housing estate.
Time doesnt seems to be enough for moi at tym which i wonder why. Do i have horrible tym management? I beta start doing something to it, everyday is lyk rush hour to moi. Gota rush frm one place to another lyk some crazy woman. I sit in front of moi lappy more than e no of hours i get to slp.
i need to do something to moi hair cause its always so fizzy and i really hate it. i miss moi tidy hair! I wonder should i cut bangs again. hoho! but afraid it might look weird on moi cause moi hair doesnt fall nicely anymore. The condition of it is super dry. RAWR! can someone tell me what to do? I dun apply conditional on moi hair fyi.
i need to start saving even more money for moi bangkok trip in less than a mth tym. I wanna shop and shop. I'll be away for a good 1 wk and sure i gona miss out alot back here. Time to lyk relax abit and escape frm e stress! School has been rather fine and tis week alone i gt moiself 2 C. :( Time to pull up moi socks.
i need to do something to moi wardrobe cause i seems to have difficulties finding moi clothes. I wonder where some of them flew to cause i can nvr find dem. I pray moi momsy didnt give it away or moi clothes gt blown away by e recent strong wind that moi maid didnt notice it. pack up moi study table cause it's rather messy and the stocks lying ard on the table. I bet moi momsy gona start nagging once she see all this mess in moi study room.
alrite, update again another tym. Gota bath nw cause i'm feeling damn warm. Weather is really killing me. Surprise to hear this coming frm moi.
' sumwhere over the rainbow♥
.Sunday, April 26, 2009 ' 4:46 AM Y
For e first time, we got so much to share. The joy within tat filled moi entire morning, e stuff which we shares kept flashing thru out e day.Everything seems perfect,every little details is wat one could predict. msg sent straight to e heart, everything running frm e start. i wish it was tat day, a tym wen things didn't seems so complicated.Thanks for being dere! for once, i wish time can stop so that everything will be fine. Too much questions left dere, hanging in e mid air.Nvr will i find e right ans to dem. Only god knows.How i wish i can wake up tml morn and everything will be jus like how it used to be.Much contradictions inside moi and i don't knw how to fight it off.Maybe just one fine day, somehow someday.I just got to do it.life seems to be s struggle for moi right now. it will not be over tonight or anytime soon.I jus wish tis yr didn't arrive.Mayb 2009 is nt e year for moi. Happiness is e basic need in life, everyone needs.I'm a human being, and i yearn for it.But i'm nt happy with how moi life is right now.
' sumwhere over the rainbow♥
.Friday, April 24, 2009 ' 9:46 AM Y
mixed feelings filled up moi entire nite. So much for helping a fren. BIG SIGH!
yes, things has start to change yet again. Another misunderstanding? one aft another. How nice?! I dun tink i shld b e one voicing out first afraid that yew guys will end up arguing but i guess i was wrong. I dun tink i need to explain moiself either as i didnt do anything wrong. I even remind ___ to tell yew. maybe it time i should shun away from people of "different world." The smile tat will nvr b e same again! tym to be more self centered i guess.
' sumwhere over the rainbow♥
.Sunday, April 19, 2009 ' 3:00 AM Y
Today marks e last day of holiday but i'm home rottin! I woke up late thus i decided to drop e idea to hit town to get a bag for sch. I've apparently got no sch bags for tml and thus i need to dig out my "shopping bag" which i hope is big enuff to stuff all the things needed. i need to get new sandals cox i'm quite sick of e one i'm wearing and it's diff to match with my clothes.
Mths of holiday but all i did was to spend money, eat, slp, have fun. This wk was great as i get to spend quality time with the clique. We seems to meet up almost everyday for dinner/supper and just tok non stop till morn before we catch the first bus home. Look thru all e foto we took tgt frm sec 1 till nw and i cldnt help but laugh non stop tgt wit dem. Seein how much we've changed over e yrs. But one thing which nvr change is that we still continue to play non-stop, enjoyin ourselves lyk dere's no tml. How nice! 4d3n in gentin was fun, all we did was PLAY! rides in theme park, bowling, shopping, chats, cam-whore. All of us got sick of fast food.,dinner on e last nite was e bomb!
i went for a hair cut on mon which turn out kind of horrible but beta than the previous one i had. acc shumin for a haircut on tue and headed home to rest in e evening cox i was damn shag and skipped moi prac. sentosa on thu which i end up havin an uneven tan which is damn ugly! i even get burnt which i dun understand y as the weather was cloudy+windy. I need a tannin session soon to even it.
sch offically starts tml and i got drag moi heavy body, elephant leg dere for 5 days. Everything starts all over again. Makin new classmates, getting use to new environment, new expectation of facis. I pray tat moi classmates and faci are nice ppl. I need to motivate myself to sch everyday! I've got got tue lesson which starts at 10am, e rest are all 915am class. Ppl gets to rest on wed while i still got wake up early for sch. How sad!
' sumwhere over the rainbow♥
